The Impact of Coaching on My Life

“It’s amazing the influence of a coach; a coach can build a spirit or break it down.” — Todd Brown

As I was writing my previous blog post, I had the idea to share some personal coaching stories to illustrate what I have experienced during my coaching career. However, as I was looking for a quote, once I saw this quote it instantly sent me in a different direction.

Brown’s quote resonated with me on many levels: as a parent, an employee, as a coach, and a business owner. Let me share a few instances in my own life how the influence and power of a coach can do exactly what that quote above states — build a spirit or break it down.

I want to start with unfortunately a painful example. My children were both multi sport athletes during their school careers. Like most children, they excelled in some sports more than others. One year I watched a coach break down my child at a crucial time in their development. In spite of the negative experience, the following year my child was excited about the upcoming season. And then the most unfortunate thing happened, the coach from the previous year was being moved up to coach this new grade level. That news ended a promising future in a sport my child loved. After years of positive experiences with many coaches, one coach had the power to extinguish a dream. That was a very painful experience for me as a parent.

As an employee, I had several opportunities to be coached and mentored. When I look back, at the time, I looked at my experiences as being mentored more than being coached. The difference between the two, a coach relationship is usually short term. They give clear and intentional feedback and regularly supervise your performance on tasks. A mentor/mentee connection is open-ended and can span decades. The two individuals that coached me were both instrumental in inspiring me to go beyond what I thought was possible. They instilled a belief and vision that I did not have previously.

As a coach, one experience stands out. I worked with a school for a number of years. I vividly remember my first day at this school. I was doing a full day training and one individual caught my eye. She sat in the back of the room disengaged all day. Her chair was pushed back from the table and arms folded over her chest with a scowl on her face. Each time I returned to the school I was met with the same resistance. Fast forward a year and a half and this woman came into our group meeting and sat down with a dejected look on her face and said, I don’t get this, can you help me? At that moment, the agenda for the day was thrown out and we sat and started working through all her questions. That was a powerful moment and showed me how important relationship building and trust are in a coaching relationship. Sometimes it takes much longer than you expect or hope but if you persevere the outcome can be impactful for both.

Finally, as a business owner I am fortunate to have a coach. As someone moving into the business arena from education, it can be quite daunting and overwhelming at times. It is in those moments that I have found I have to be vulnerable enough to share my doubt, fears and trepidations. That is when my coach comes alongside me and encourages me and is able to help me navigate through the muck and mire of my emotions. Often, when I feel like I am not doing enough or accomplishing enough, my coach provides an unsolicited word of encouragement. He is gifted at nurturing people to help them grow. Additionally my coach meets with me weekly for our 1:1 coaching session. During these meeting we talk through a form that has me reflect on the work I have done and then move into what I am currently working on and need to do in the near future, as well as items I want to discuss together. I am amazed how much we can get accomplished in a short period of time using this organizational tool. We are usually done in less than 30 minutes. This speaks to the power of having a good tool and being organized.

I’ll leave you with this, our words have the power to build someone up or tear someone down. The tricky part in coaching is, growth is a necessary outcome and often that process can be uncomfortable and at times painful. Being too nice will often not get the job done, choose your words and coaching moves wisely.

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Information coming soon about the FREE Learning For Life Summit Event that is taking place February 24 & 25!

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”

― Frederick Douglass

The joy is in the journey!

Blessings and Peace,,

Mary